Apr 10, 2009

There are two types of people in the world

It has come to our attention that some people stand up to wipe their butts after going #2. This is totally bizarre and frankly, illogical.

A quick straw poll showed that this disturbing trend is more prevalent than anyone could have imagined: Approximately 50% of those polled were standing wipers.

But why?

Because we are so brave, we will subject our own bodies to the rigors of Science, to test our seemingly self-evident hypothesis: Standing will cause significant butt cheek closure, rendering the anus near-inaccessible to wiping action. Update to follow.

In preliminary research, we have found a few other innovative thinkers who've pondered this very issue. Their inquisitive minds have laid the groundwork for this ambitious study. The latter link points to a self-reported standing wiper, who interestingly notes the entertainment value of being able to better see inside the bowl during wiping. Shockingly, stand-wiping seems to have at least one benefit.

The often-conflicting results of others highlight the need for a larger sample, as well as the need for strict classification of the main techniques. Their work and our own selfless desire to further human knowledge have coalesced into a single website: how do you wipe your ass .com

Apr 6, 2009

Omegle: great new procrastination tool

Omegle.com is extremely simple: you click "start a chat" and you are randomly paired up with someone for an anonymous chat sesh. It's quite interesting, and I wasted a good amount of time tonight that should have been used for studying. Some people are cool, some are lame, and some suckas are just waiting for your perfect zinger: