Today, I saw a man sneeze so hard, his glasses fell off, but he caught them. Then the second sneeze came, and he dropped them.

I think this sign is pretty funny.

Some people don't deserve iPhones

Click for full-res. Look closely and see the headphones coming from her iPod and NOT from her iPhone (iPhone headphone jack is on top)

I was on the shuttle bus today, and I saw this chick. She has a stupid third-gen iPod nano. Whatever, maybe she got it as a gift.

She's got her music, or perhaps an audio book, zooming from her nano to her consciousness via some lame earbuds. I pray she wasn't watching a movie on that teeny screen.

The reason this girl is a fuckin noob? She has her sweet (white, 16GB 3G) iPhone in the other hand, where she seems to be texting, or maybe reading perezhilton. Then she looks back to her unnecessary second device to change her song selection.

Now, since third-gen nanos only came in 4 and 8GB capacities, we can assume that whatever shitty music she has on the nano could easily fit on her iPhone. And then she wouldn't suck so much.

I know plenty of lower-income geeks who would appreciate that iPhone. They'd jailbreak it and put some sweet (pirated) apps on it.

In conclusion, sorry for hating on you nano owners and earbud users. They are both very compact and practical choices for enjoying your tunes. I just love my iPhone dearly and hate to see one disrespected like this. And sorry I couldn't get a better picture, she got off the bus.

Fishing for an invitation

I just invented a new word, because I'm fucking creative. The word: invitishing. Invitishing means "fishing for an invitation."

Last night my friend denied a girl who was invitishing.

I searched for this word using the Google and got zero results. I hope to be the first Google-indexed instance of my new word.

Also, I can add "coining terms" to the skills section of my resume.

Watch where you're going.

The other day while I was at work, I had to go poopy. I did so in my favorite restroom with a view of The Charles River. After doing my business, I washed up, and headed for the door.

I was suddenly face-to-face with a woman, whom I judged to be about 25, so possibly a grad student. She had been washing her paint brushes. She froze and just looked at me for a solid five seconds, until I walked past her and on my way.

This woman is stupid for two main reasons. She was in the men's room, and there's a sign right above those sinks that says no paint down the drains. Fuck her.